did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
40s are totally the cure
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
