i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
im holly from the hills drunk
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
