you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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