That's when you crack a 10am beer
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
