You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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