Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
