On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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