I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
