I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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