I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
