i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
