Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
