seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
