Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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