highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
