You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
This is the high leading the old right now
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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