i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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