Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
