So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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