I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
