Do you still have your period?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
