How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
