Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I currently don't understand fingers.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
