I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
