If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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