If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
