You're so nebulous sometimes
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
