why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
