It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
