And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You're like the curious george of whores
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
