tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
