I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
