After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
