Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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