Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
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