the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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