I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
