This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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