i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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