watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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