physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
