brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
