xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
