last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
