remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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