i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
