Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
