You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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