guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
