i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
