Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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