You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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